Romantic visions of girls with charming dresses with bows and sashes being chased across a lush green lawn by tuxedoed boys, bow ties askew, with gorgeous grown ups looking on holding champagne flutes and knowing grins on their faces.....that is the dream of kids at your wedding. And this moment might happen. Other moments might happen too - a child crying right during the exchange of vows, and no one beyond the first two rows can here you. Toddlers and young children taking over the dance floor. Temper tantrums. Tipsy teens (inadvertently, of course). Sugar crazies followed by sleeping sugar slumps. And, this is tough to say but true, spotlight stealers.
Absolutely, your own children and your fiance's children should be there and when it is right for the kids, be a part of the proceedings. But how do you decide on other people bringing their children? If you do decide to have "No Kids", at what age are they able to come? How do you address this in invitations and addressing of invitations? And, worst of all, how do you handle it if you are having a "No Kids" wedding and someone shows up with their kids? Argh.
First of all, let me assure you that this is a choice that you and your fiance can make confidently and based on your desires entirely. Do not allow anyone else to pressure you one way or the other. The two of you need to decide privately, and then stand behind your decision. In all likelihood, you will be spending somewhere between $25,000 to $40,000 (if not more) on this ceremonial life changing event. You get to decide, and either decision is fine. Your 6 year old nephew will have no lasting impact on his life one way or the other if he attends your wedding or not. And the new parents that just cannot imagine leaving Junior or Junette with a sitter at just 9 months old - they will either get a sitter and thank you later, or they can stay home and you and your love will still get married and have an awesome time.
Second, if you dream of being surrounded by lovely children like an Estee Lauder perfume advertisement, you can do that too!! You run the risk of having people get upset that children are there. Too bad! This is one issue where, as mentioned above, you and your fiance decide to suit yourselves. So, your Uncle Herbert might leave the reception early because of all the young hooligans, or you may hear chatter that the kids are interfering with the dancing. Oh well. If you have the feeling and photos and ambiance you want, then that is all that matters.
So, here are some thoughts to consider while making the decision:
1. Wedding days are long - even for adults.
2. The time of day and your venue may help make the decision. An outdoor daytime wedding will handle the presence of children with less impact on other guests than a formal evening with dinner and dancing in a banquet hall.
3. Guests want to hear the vows and the ceremony (usually!). Babies and children can interfere with this in a significant way. Work with your wedding coordinator to have a separate room or area with a video feed so that parents that need to leave with a crying child can still watch the proceedings without ruining it for other guests. Let your guests know that you have set up this special lounge for them.
4. If you are having your wedding at a hotel or a banquet facility, arrange a daycare room, and provide a Red Cross Certified babysitter for your guests to use as needed. This can be a godsend for the parents of babies and toddlers, especially if they are traveling from out of town and have to bring their kids with them on the trip.
5. If you are not having children at the wedding, include information regarding babysitting services in your area to your out of town guests. Many hotels have recommended and approved sitters that will come right to the hotel. Or www.care.com and www.sittercity.com have built good reputations for having skilled and reliable sitter services.
There really isn't a right or wrong answer regarding this issue. Make your own choice. Remember, as W. C. Fields said, "Never work with children or animals". However, I believe he did both!
Let me know if you have any questions, or additional ideas on this issue!
No comments:
Post a Comment