Ever wonder how many brides and grooms have children at their weddings? According to a recent Brides Magazine survey, 63% of couple have children at their wedding and their reception! If you are one of the 37% of couple with no kids at the wedding, check out our blog on personalizing your wedding. But if you are going to have children at your wedding, read on! We have assembled our Top 10 Fresh Ideas for what to do to ensure your littlest guests have a memorable time and the adults do too. These ideas are mainly for the 12 and under set, as most teens enjoy the opportunity to play "grown up" and want to be treated as the adults are treated.
One note for the ceremony - have the ushers seat the families with children towards the rear of the ceremony location, and near the aisle. Have your wedding coordinator ready to escort any parents with a distressed child to a room in the venue where they can calm the child without disrupting the ceremony. At An Amazing Affair Wedding Planning, we set up a lounge area with bottled water, coffee for the parents, a few snacks, books, toys, and a comfortable place to sit for the calming area.
For the Ceremony
1. Goody baskets! Have your ushers greet families with children as they enter your ceremony location and have them hand out small baskets or fabric bags with quiet toys and a book. Make sure that the container itself is not noisy! Paper bags and plastic bags make noise taking things in and out. Some possible items would be a small picture book, felt finger puppets, small stuffed animals, or a soft doll. If you put any snacks in the bag, make sure they are not cellophane wrapped! Goldfish or Cheerios in a small plastic container with a flip top would be quiet. If you are only having a handful of children, take the time to personalize their goody basket.
2. Rehearse! Rehearse! Rehearse with the children! Especially the younger ones! Oftentimes at rehearsals, people use words that may be unfamiliar to a 4 year old, and they may nod in agreement out of their natural desire to do a good job for the wedding. "Walk slowly down the aisle" is everyday to us...a youngster may not be so sure about what that really means. Have them do it several times. It is something that your wedding planner can do with any children in the wedding while the officiant is speaking to the couple and the bridal party.
For the Pictures:
3. Get the photos with the kids FIRST!! Let me be frank - I even got bored while getting my pictures taken at my own wedding....and I am in my forties!! Photo sessions can be torturous for children, and can be the beginning of a spiral effect of bad behavior carrying over into the reception. Plan with your photographer to get those first, then set the children free!
4. Get Real...Candids of children will be some of your most beautiful photos. Make sure to ask your photographer to capture candids of your youngest guests throughout their time at the celebration. have your wedding coordinator or one of the bridesmaids let the parents of children know that we want to capture them when they are unaware, and ask them not to say "Smile!" or "Say Cheese!" or distract their precious little ones when they see their photo being taken! (nicely, of course)
For the Cocktail Hour and Reception: (make sure you read number 10!)
5. COCKTAIL HOUR is critical! If children are not considered for the cocktail hour, it can set the seeds of discontent, distraction, and disturbance for the reception!! We call it "taking a kid's eye view" of the cocktail hour. Have a full service lemonade stand set up near one of the bars just for the kids. Your reception sitter can man the stand. Have a child sized hor d'oeuvres table set up near the lemonade stand, with a table for them to sit and enjoy their snacks and relax as a reward for their excellent behavior during the ceremony. BONUS - this allows the parents to relax during cocktail hour too.
6. All together now! Have the children sit together at a child sized table if possible. Offer a child friendly menu! Think about when you were a kid....didn't you love it when things were sized down for you? I did. It seemed more special. *Again - this should be for 12 and under-ish. If you know the children, you will know if they want to be with the kids or with the grown ups. We create special arrangements just for the kids' table. Here is a list of great items to have on the kids' table:
- tic-tac-toe boards
- small puzzles and games (travel sizes are awesome!)
- a photo album with pictures of them, their families, and their pets - they can look through and try to find themselves! (I have seen groups of kids around one chair all looking to see themselves. We actually can coordinate with the parents bringing children to your event and get the photos and assemble this for you.)
- disposable cameras - you will be amazed at the pictures they take. Some will be amazingly awful....some will be amazingly touching, from a child's perspective.
7. VIP Kids Lounge - especially if there will be more than 8 children attending the wedding and reception. We love to set up a separate tent or room as the VIP kid's area. It is stocked with everything kid's would love. Games, toys, electronics when possible, bean bag chairs or low slung gaming seats, easels & smocks in a painting area, craft kits, drinks, food, music, movies, even a ball pit depending on how many kids there will be. This can help you avoid one of the common pet peeves of having children at a wedding - when they dominate the dance floor. If they have their own enticing area, you are more likely to avoid this situation.
8. Let them eat (their own) CAKE! Have a children's cake, and join them to cut it. Take a moment for the bride and the groom to go to the children's lounge, and have them cut the children's cake surrounded by all the children who have participated in and attended their special day. This creates such a lovely photo!!
9. Give them a MYSTERY to solve! When you know you will have a lot of 8 - 11 year olds attending, give them a mystery to solve, or a scavenger hunt to follow. Children at this age love to utilize their improving reading skills and cunning insight to figure things out. At An Amazing Affair, we have four different mystery scenarios - complete with props, clues, and materials ready for you to implement for your younger guests. We also create scavenger hunts as needed, taking the theme of the wedding and the venue into consideration. This makes it so memorable for the children, and there is not even a chance for them to get bored (unless of course, as so often happens, one of your young guests has a sardonic side that comes out).
10. Most important!! HIRE A PROFESSIONAL SITTER!! Please please please trust us when we tell you - your 14 year-old niece does NOT want to be the sitter for your wedding. She wants to wear a gorgeous dress, mix and mingle with any other teens that may be there, observe the young adults, and dream of her own big day in the future! She will say yes to you out of obligation.....not desire. Also, as wonderful as your niece may be, unless she is a trained camp counselor during the summer, she probably does not have experience wrangling a group of children, possibly jacked up on sugar, in fancy clothes they may not be used to wearing, wondering why Mommy and Daddy are paying attention to everyone else and listening to grown ups prattle on and on. A professional child care provider will add such a layer of confidence to you and the parents of the children attending. It will allow all of your guests to truly be guests, and not be harried watching over the children. You should have a professional child care provider available from the beginning of the cocktail hour through the reception. We will work with you to set up however many sitters you will need based on how many children will be there. This service can be custom tailored to whatever needs you and your guests may have. It is money well spent, if you are going down the road of having pint-sized guests. They should also sit at the children's table through the dinner.
Children can add life, humor, and feelings of family to a wedding in a unique way. Just make sure that you and your planner do a separate "children's plan" to ensure that their needs are considered throughout the event, and that it will be fun and memorable for them as well as the adults.
What ideas do you have for children at a wedding? We would love to hear what you did at your wedding for the little ones. Contact us at bridgetanndooney@anamazingaffair.com for more information, or for assistance planning your wedding, wherever you may be located!
